I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
why is half of my head shaved?
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