Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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