rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
only you would photoshop your dick
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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