I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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