Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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