All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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