Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
