she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
