The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
