I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
