Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
