Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish you could order shots online.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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