at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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