I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize