He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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