well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
