I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
