What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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