Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
