Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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