Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
