sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
