She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize