I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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