i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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