im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
