I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
