I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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