just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
