WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
