Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
