I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
even my farts smell like vagina
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
