well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You made out with two different species that night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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