I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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