do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
