I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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