she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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