what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Found your dick twin last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
