Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
