we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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