He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
