But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
