i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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