I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
