He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
that may or may not have been my penis.
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