I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
