this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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