flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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