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• (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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• (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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• (619): View more from California

  It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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• (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.

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• (821): View more from

  If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it

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