help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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