my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize