I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
