just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
