Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
