Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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