i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
