Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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