Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
