I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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