So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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