You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
