i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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